article #3

Does the Truth Help or Hurt Relationships?   by Kristin Denton

Remember how your relationship was in the very beginning?

You stayed up all night talking about everything - your dreams and desires and even the things that scare or embarrass you. But then, as the relationship went a long, you stopped talking about so much. Everything became so heavy and meaningful.

In the beginning, things were great. There was a level of trust and open communication that created intimacy and understanding. So, what happened to that? Where did it go and how can you get it back?

I used to try to protect my partner from those heavy, bad moods and ugly thoughts. I went to my room and hung out until I felt like socializing again.

I thought I was noble in my ability to control what came out of my mouth.

I thought I was kind because I never let on what I was thinking.

But what I was doing was ruining my relationships. There was no relationship. I was cutting myself off from others and never allowing them to know me. They never knew what I was thinking or feeling or needing.

I was an island. A very lonely island.

I really thought that if I let people know the ugly thoughts, not only would they be hurt - but they would probably become angry and disown me - betray me, talk shit behind my back. I would be the outcast.

So I beat them to the punch! Hah! I'd banish myself to my own room (or apartment, as I got older). I'd banish myself to silence.

I like this article, because it shows how relationships are nowadays. It tells us how things you do which you think are good can actually be bad. It is easy to understand and very well written. Although this essay does contain some bad language. Overall this essay is a very interesting piece.